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Monday, August 22, 2011

2011 U.S. Gymnastics Championships: What They Wore

Gymnastics apparel has been in a rut for, oh, like 15 years now. I just hate where it's gone. It's like the leotard plant has two giant machines: one to slap some rhinestones on and one to apply some snaky shapes. Voila! Your finished product!


Let's check out some of the competition leos seen at Nationals, shall we? 

Jordyn Wieber, not bad:

Snaky patterns? Check. Rhinestones? Check. But not terribly busy so I can live with it. 

Shawn Johnson, hmmm:

My rule of thumb for sleeves is, if they're going to be different, keep them solid. Even still, I thought, "Well, at least it's not terribly busy." Then I got a closer look:

Turns out it IS covered in crystals and those crystals are applied in funny little shapes on one side. Bummer. 

Alicia Sacramone, it's not like she ever looks bad, but:


Three-quarter sleeves on leotards are bad news. They make your arms look stumpy. Also, here the rhinestones themselves are applied in snaky shapes!! And I really can't decide if that makes it better or worse. 

The combined talent in this conversation is off the charts:


But the fashion looks like someone's mom just hit the scrap bin clearance at the spandex store and then got assaulted with glitter on the way out. 

How about elegance? How about athleticism? How about a friggin simple stripe to accentuate the line of the arm? I'm waiting for the backlash when the leotard manufacturers discover that less is more and we return to a more athletic style. Till then, you may have to create a shoebox-solar-eclipse-viewer to endure the likes of this:


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